Ten pieces of Zen advice for walkers
  1. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

  2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

  3. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

  4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

  5. No one is listening until you belch.

  6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

  7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

  8. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

  9. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

  10. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just sod off and leave me alone.